Okay you guys.

I’ve done something. Changed something. Opened some sort of magic box, some secret portal to a new world. And now that I’ve glimpsed the other side, I rather doubt I’ll be the same again.

It all started with an innocent breakfast suggestion. On my recent winter escape to Oregon, all we wanted was a place to eat one misty Wednesday morning in Portland. Instead, we ordered a plate of food that, rather than fading from my memory as most meals do, has haunted my daydreams ever since.

It was praline bacon. And within moments of eating it, I knew that I wanted to, nay, that I must!  try to recreate it at home. This weekend I finally had the time, the health, and the daylight. It took four failed attempts, but I finally found the balance I was looking for. And the best part It’s so absurdly, ridiculously easy.

Obviously, we start with bacon. Then we have pecans, maple syrup, brown sugar, a little salt, and some cayenne pepper.

THAT IS ALL, PEOPLE.

Instead of pan-frying the bacon, I baked mine. It helps the bacon stay flat (necessary for topping with sugary pecans later) and the excess fat drains into the pan below. I may actually start making all of my bacon this way.

While the bacon cooks, chop up some pecans. I’ve seen some versions where the pecans are food-processed into oblivion, but I prefer a larger cut. Smaller than a rough chop but bigger than a fine chop, does that make sense About the size of a tooth (Is that gross?)

With the pecans, mix in the brown sugar, maple syrup, pepper, and salt. I know, it sounds crazy to add a little sea salt to a mixture that is going to be slathered across notoriously salty bacon, but I really thought it helped to balance out the sugary-sweetness of the topping.

After about 20 minutes in the oven, the bacon won’t be done but it will be ready for its glorious topping. Don’t be tempted to let the bacon cook to completion before you add the pecans, though: if you do, you’ll have nothing but rock solid strips of bacon-flavored cardboard topped with sticky pecans.

Past this, you will only have to wait a few more minutes. I baked my bacon for another eight minutes or so, just enough to toast the pecans and cook the sugars a bit.

The finished product is unbelievable. Slightly chewy, slightly crunchy from the pecans, salty, sweet, rich… it’s just everything. It’s quite delicious warm, which is how we ate it that fateful morning in Portland. But I’ve found I like it even better at room temperature or even cold. And it you want to pretend that you’re not eating half a pound of bacon all my your onesie, chop it into pieces and put it out for your colleagues like an honest-to-god bowl of candy.

It will not last long.

Maple Praline Bacon
Inspired by a delectable meal at Screen Door

Note: I am hesitant to call for “thick-cut” bacon here. In this age of bacon obsession, I’ve seen bacon nearly half an inch thick marketed as “thick-cut”. On the other hand, this is not the time for cheap, lunchmeat-section bacon so thin you can barely pull it apart. I recommend getting your bacon from the butcher or meat counter for the perfect happy medium.

8 strips thick-ish bacon
3/4 c pecan halves, chopped fairly small
1/4 c dark brown sugar
1/3 c maple syrup + additional for brushing
1/4 tsp flaky sea salt
pinch cayenne pepper

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil and place a wire cooling rack on the baking sheet. Spray lightly with cooking spray. Lay the bacon on the cooling rack with a bit of space between each piece and bake for 15-20 minutes. The fat should not be completely rendered by the time you remove it from the oven.

While the bacon cooks, chop pecans and combine them in a bowl with the sugar, maple syrup, sea salt, and cayenne. Mix well. If the mixture is crumbly, add a bit more maple syrup until it forms a thick, liquidy sludge of deliciousness.

Remove pan and flip each piece of bacon over. Brush each piece of bacon with maple syrup, then flip the strips back over. Carefully spread the pecan mixture on each piece of bacon. Return to the oven for 5-8 more minutes.

Serve hot. Or at room temperature. Or cold, it’s REALLY good when it’s cold. Serve it in whole strips, or cool it down and chop it into squares to serve as candy.

Oh dear friends.

October is doing that thing again where it goes by too quickly. It’s my favorite month: the peak of autumn on most of this continent, and I may have mentioned once or seven-hundred times that autumn provides me the greatest joy of any season. A plentiful harvest of food to enjoy in the moment and store for the winter, repressed pigments unleashed in the forests in a glorious display of color, a chance to layer every article of orange, green, purple, and brown clothing I own in endless combinations for my daily attire (it is the only season I feel my wardrobe is remotely fashionable).

And of course, autumn recipes. This one in particular is the pinnacle of fall flavor unity: a basic caramel sweetened with maple syrup and punched up with a quart of apple cider boiled down to pure apple goodness. And now is really the best time to make them because it’s the one time of year you can buy fresh-pressed, unpasteurized apple cider.

And while yes, the primary purpose of my annual expedition is a supply of local fruit to get me through the winter, the added perk is access to this incredible cider. Unpasteurized apple cider, contrary to its grocery store counterparts, is thick, opaque, and must be refrigerated. But it’s filled with the most incredible flavor: you can still taste which varieties were used to press the cider. Most apple orchards sell it, but you can also occasionally find it in specialty grocery stores or farmers markets. Get out there and get some!

I also had a bottle of maple syrup that I bought in Wisconsin. It seemed appropriate to add to this autumn candy, right?

The cider and the syrup won’t make a caramel on their own though. Bring in the butter, the cream, the sugar, and the spices!

Once all the ingredients are prepared, the first step is to boil down the apple cider, waaaaaay down. The quart of apple cider you’ll start with takes 30-40 minutes to boil down to about half a cup, which is what we’re aiming for. That 30-40 minutes is a great time to line a square pan with parchment paper and make wrappers for your pretty little candies. Waxed paper works best, and you’ll want squares about four inches across. No need to be fussy, you’ll be wrinkling them up so this is not the time for perfection.

In no time, you’ll have your concentrated apple cider. You may have to remove the pan from the heat to make sure  you have the right amount. Then, it’s time to mix in the butter, cream, sugar, and maple syrup to make your candy.

Now comes the tricky part. After the butter and sugar have dissolved, return the pan to the heat with a candy thermometer. It only takes a few minutes to bring the candy to temperature. Cook it too little and you’ll end up with a caramel sauce, (which would be out-of-control-delicious, mind you) but cook it too much you’ll end up with toffees (also delicious).

Once the caramel reaches 250°, into the mold it goes!

And now the waiting. The caramel will cool for about two hours. I cooled mine on the counter. You can try it in the fridge, but I would let it come back to room temperature before attempting to cut it to help prevent it from cracking.

Once it is cool, it’s time to turn that giant block of caramel into sixty-four tiny blocks. Make sure you wipe your knife with oil between cuts so it doesn’t stick in the caramel.

And soon, after gently wrapping each and every one, you’ll have a mountain of caramels bursting with apple-y, autumn-y flavor. Though candy can be intimidating, I urge you to give these a shot. They’re perfect for fall parties, fall birthday and wedding gifts, or just as a treat on days when you want to savor all the flavor of fall in one little bite. Even though October is escaping quickly, these will help the season last.

Apple Cider Maple Caramels
Adapted from Smitten Kitchen

4 c apple cider (use fresh, unpasteurized cider if you can find it)
1/2 c unsalted butter, cut into tablespoon-sized chunks
1 c granulated sugar
1/2 c maple syrup
1/3 c heavy cream
2 tsp flaky sea salt
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground cloves
canola or vegetable oil (for greasing the knife)

Heat apple cider in a 3- or 4-quart pot over medium-high heat. While the cider boils, prepare your remaining ingredients and have them standing by near the stove. Use two strips of parchment paper to line an 8-inch square pan sitting on a trivet, crossing the parchment so that the bottom and all sides are covered. You can also use this time to cut wrappers out of wax paper, about 64 four-inch squares.

Boil cider for 25-35 minutes until it has reduced to about 1/2 a cup, stirring occasionally. You may have to remove it from the heat as it gets close to get an accurate idea of how much is left. It will form a thick, dark syrup.

Remove the pot from the heat and stir in butter, sugar, maple syrup, and cream. Attach a candy thermometer to the side of the pot and return to the heat. Stirring occasionally, keep a close eye on the caramel. Once it reaches 248°F, quickly mix in the salt and spices. Cook just a bit longer until the mixture reaches 250°F. Immediately remove the pot from the heat, remove the thermometer and place it in the sink, and pour the hot caramel into the parchment-lined square pan, scraping out as much as you can. Allow the caramel to cool until it is room temperature and firm. This will take about two hours.

Once caramel block has cooled, use the parchment sling to lift the block out of the pan and onto a cutting board. Wipe oil on both sides of a knife and cut into one-inch wide strips, re-oiling the knife after each cut. Turn the strips 90 degrees and make perpendicular cuts, essentially cutting the caramels into one inch squares. Wrap each caramel in a four-inch square of waxed paper.

Caramels will store for up to two weeks in an airtight container on the counter.

So far I’ve posted lots of wholesome (sort of), savory (mostly), meal-type recipes for your reading & eating enjoyment.

It’s time for something truly unnecessary, but totally worth your time.

Homemade candy!

Too difficult, you say Surely must be… handmade candy is wildly expensive, so it must be a complicated, time-consuming challenge that only fabulous cooks can achieve after years of training, right?

Not so.

Here’s the secret that gourmet candy companies don’t want you to know: many candies are deceptively easy to make. Really. A big pot, a wooden spoon, and a candy thermometer (you can find one for less than twenty bucks at a home goods store, maybe even your grocery store’s baking aisle) comprise the bulk of the equipment list.

Of course, you’ll need some ingredients. Candy with no ingredients would be, well, gross.

Of late, I’ve become somewhat obsessed with integrating honey into my cooking. In my continuing quest to eliminate non-local foods from my diet, white sugar is going to be a major challenge. It makes an appearance on the ingredient list of almost any recipe, but it only grows in like, three US states. (Is that redundant, US states Please advise.) Anyway, unless I plan to move to Florida, Hawaii, or Louisiana, the odds of finding sugar cane at my local farmers market are slim at best. Honey, on the other hand, is fashioned by busy little bees all over the place.

Unfortunately, one cannot simply swap honey for white sugar in many recipes and produce the same result. I learned that lesson in one of the variations of last month’s strawberry jam, and I admit, it was a bit disheartening.

My good friend Sierra (whose family keeps a few hives that produce fabulous honey) put it right: contrary to white sugar, honey tastes dramatically different from season to season, year to year, and hive to hive depending on which kinds of flowers are providing the bees with nectar. This variety is not a bad thing, but it does make honey a less predictable ingredient than ever-steady, ever-reliable white sugar.

This particular caramel contains both honey and white sugar. Figures. Here, the flowery-ness (a word) the honey provides is not a consequence but is, in fact, the key to the bright, old-fashioned, slightly floral flavor that differentiates this caramel from a bag of Milk Maids.

Now there is no reason that the omg-candy-is-an-elusive-domestic-art-totally-beyond-my-skill-level mentality should make its way into your brain while you’re making this treat. But you should stay focused on the task at hand. Like many candies, this process requires a brief but vigorous period of stirring once the caramel comes to a boil, and during that time you pretty much have to ignore your phone, the doorbell, your cat, your boyfriend, any any other noise-makers trying to get your attention.

I won’t lie… boiling caramel is hot. Really hot. It can and will jump out of the pot like lava balls on a mission. Wear closed toe shoes and an oven mitt. Your appendages will thank you.

After this brief period of arm-toning stirring, straight into the pan the candy must go. Then you wait…

…Tick tock…

… for a few hours while the caramel cools. You can also let it cool overnight – just cover the pan so any critters wanted or unwanted don’t give themselves a sugar high.

It will be sticky. I got almost all of mine out the pan. Almost. I consider this wildly successful.

From there, it’s a simple matter of chopping and wrapping your sheet of caramel into bite-sized pieces. Be prepared… you’ll have a lot. This batch made almost 100 caramels! You can wrap them in waxed paper, of course, but I suggest colorful little foil wrappers (I found them at the craft store) to dress things up and show off your little gems.

Your friends will be impressed, your sugar craving satisfied, and you can smile and pretend you slaved over your stove  for hours and are privy to some secret, uber-complicated recipes that mere mortals could never dream of completing…

Not really. Don’t be a meanie. If you can’t say something nice, shove a caramel in your mouth to stick your teeth together.

Honey Caramels
Adapted from Old Favorite Honey Recipes
Makes about 100 individually wrapped caramels

A note on candy temperatures: I’ve only recently begun using a candy thermometer. I first learned the water ball method to determine when candy was ready. If you prefer this method, the caramels should reach hard ball stage. If you’re new to candy-making, I recommend a candy thermometer. They are relatively inexpensive and remove the pressure of attempting to scoop boiling candy out of the pot and determining its consistency in cool water.

1 1/2 c whipping cream
2 c white sugar
1 c honey
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Heavily grease a 9″x13″ cake pan and set near the stove on hot pads. If you have a candy thermometer, attach it to a large pot (no smaller than 3 quarts.) Combine cream, sugar, and honey in the pot over medium-high heat. Stir steadily until ingredients are thoroughly combined. Once mixture begins to boil, stir constantly until candy reaches 260 ºF (hard ball stage.) Add vanilla. Remove from heat and pour immediately into the greased cake pan. Allow pan to cool completely, meaning the top of the caramel and the bottom of the cake pan should reach room temperature.

Once caramels have cooled, turn caramels out onto a cutting board. This might require a little… encouragement with a spatula or knife. Slice caramels into 1″ squares and wrap with wax paper or foil wrappers. Keep in a cool place.  Or try to, they’ll disappear quickly.